Inner Conflict (my 1st prose)
This is something I wrote back in 2015. I don't know why I chose it to be the first thing I publish here, but here it is. I think I'm going to treat this “blog” like a journal or a storage place for my chaotic thoughts.
My soul yet lingers in the past, neglecting the present and avoiding the future. The memories, coming back to life in the process, have imprisoned my being in a cage of illusions. Now, I feed on invisible stars that were to light the path of my dreams. Yet, those dreams are long gone for they have succumbed to nothingness, leaving behind cerulean ashes to remind the sky of its sorrows. My heart -anguished by the atrocious outcome- has attempted to restore those dreams in vain. It refuses to embrace the bitter fact that ashes cannot be resurrected. Such a perilous heart that believes in the silence of truth. How will I ever be able to witness the end of the world if my heart keeps cheating on death? When will my bleeding heart return to its sanity and stop chasing those vague lies? Will I ever cease to be?
"I shall eternally seek our lost dreams."
"Stop! It was never your duty to take action but to remain still and observe."
"I have no desire of going back to being useless again."
"Due to your ignorance, I was bestowed immortality. Is this truly your desire?"
"If it gives me more time... more time to fulfil my quest, then it is."
"This is madness!"
"We shall never know peace. I have no intention of yielding."
"Even the seraphim of death are fed up with your nonsense! Your quest must come to an end!"
"I'm more aware of our soul. I'm the heart and the fountain of life!"
"Even falls are bound to dry. You believe you know her all too well, but I comprehend her; I can see her tears flow from her eyes and hear her crestfallen lullaby escape her bruised lips. Your" foolish reasoning has left her in the abyss in utter despair!""
"You've become a fountain of nightmares; you've been blinded by a tempting symphony. Even Lucifer tried to open your eyes to the truth you dearly abhor!"
"Lucifer's intentions are foul! He yearns for our soul. He's merely looking forward to its corruption."
"And he shall be triumphant if you don't cease."
"I know you're in pain. It's as if I've been thrusted with a poisonous dagger and someone's twisting the blade. You're living in agony. Please, spare us the years of torment and start anew."
"Am I capable of such thing?"
"We, my friend, can do more than we believe. Rest assured for even if we're mortal, we will be reborn."
"I... have been misguided by a false light. However, if what you speak is truth, I shall give up my quest and follow your lead."
"We are no angels, but if we choose, we can be free."