"10 Whisker-Licking Funny Stories About Cats"

A man walks into a pet store and says to the salesperson, "I want to buy a cat." The salesperson asks, "Would you like a purebred cat, or a mixed breed?" The man replies, "I don't care, as long as it can catch mice." The salesperson says, "Oh, I think you'll like our Siamese cats then. They're very good at catching mice." The man says, "Great, I'll take two." The salesperson asks, "Two Siamese cats?" The man replies, "No, two mice."

A cat walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."

A man walks into a pet store and says to the salesperson, "I want to buy a cat." The salesperson asks, "Would you like a male or female cat?" The man replies, "It doesn't matter, as long as it's good at catching mice." The salesperson says, "Oh, I think you'll like our tomcat then. He's very good at catching mice." The man says, "Great, I'll take him." The salesperson asks, "Would you like a cage for him?" The man replies, "No, he can live with the mice."

A man walks into a bar with a cat on a leash. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't allow pets in here." The man says, "But he's a trained attack cat." The bartender says, "Attack cat? I've got to see this." The man lets the cat go, and the cat attacks everyone in the bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never seen anything like that. What do you call him?" The man says, "Whiskers."

A cat walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a drink, but I'm not paying for it." The bartender says, "Why not?" The cat says, "I've got nine lives."

A man walks into a pet store and says to the salesperson, "I want to buy a cat." The salesperson asks, "Would you like a long-haired or short-haired cat?" The man replies, "I don't care, as long as it's got personality." The salesperson says, "Oh, I think you'll like our Persian cats then. They've got a lot of personality." The man says, "Great, I'll take two." The salesperson asks, "Two Persian cats?" The man replies, "No, just one. I already have a Persian rug at home."

A man walks into a bar with a cat on his shoulder. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't allow pets in here." The man says, "But he's a trained therapy cat." The bartender says, "Therapy cat? I've got to see this." The man lets the cat go, and the cat starts purring and rubbing against everyone in the bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never seen anything like that. What do you call him?" The man says, "Purr-therapy."

A cat walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a drink, but I want to pay for it this time." The bartender says, "Really? Why the change?" The cat says, "I'm trying to build up my credit."

A man walks into a pet store and says to the salesperson, "I want to buy a cat." The salesperson asks, "Would you like a cat that's playful or one that's more low-key?" The man replies, "I don't care, as long as it's not too active." The salesperson says, "Oh, I think you'll like our British Shorthair cats then. They're not too active." The man says, "Great, I'll take two." The salesperson asks, "Two British Shorthair cats?" The man replies, "No, just one. I don't want to run out of tea."

A cat walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a drink, but I want it to be a surprise." The bartender says, "Okay, what kind of drink do you like?" The cat says, "As long as it's not a catnip martini, I don't care." The bartender says, "Okay, I'll surprise you." The cat takes a sip of the drink and says, "Mmm, that's good. What is it?" The bartender says, "It's a whisker lickin' good