"Humorous Stories to Brighten Your Day"

A man walks into a store and says to the cashier, "I'll have one of those watches on the display." The cashier looks at him and says, "I'm sorry sir, but that's a banana." The man looks confused and says, "Oh, I must be mistaken. I'll have one of those bananas on the display."

A man walks into a doctor's office with a carrot in his ear, a cucumber up his nose, and a banana in his ear. The doctor looks at him and says, "What's the matter?" The man replies, "I don't know, but it's driving me bananas."

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few minutes, a big, burly biker walks in, looks around menacingly, and bellows, "Who owns that car outside?" The man nervously raises his hand and says, "It's mine. Why?" The biker replies, "I just wanted to thank you for parking it in the handicapped spot. It made it so much easier for me to find the front door."

A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says "Free Beer for the Person Who Can Pass Our Test." The man thinks, "I'm smart, I can pass any test," so he walks up to the bartender and says, "I'm ready to take your test." The bartender pulls out a dictionary and says, "Spell 'dyslexia'." The man thinks for a moment, then says, "I'll have the beer."

A farmer walks into a bar with a rooster under his arm. The bartender looks at him and says, "Sorry, we don't allow farm animals in here." The farmer replies, "But this is a special rooster. He plays the piano!" The bartender, intrigued, says, "Really? I've got to see this." The farmer sets the rooster down on the piano bench, and the rooster starts playing "Chopsticks" perfectly. The bartender is amazed and says, "Wow, that's incredible! I've got to get this rooster in here every night." The farmer says, "I'd love to, but he only plays when he's drunk."

Three men stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first man wishes he was off the island and back home. The second man wishes the same. The third man says "I'm lonely, I wish my friends were back here with me!"

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a Martini." The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"

A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says "Free Drinks for the Person Who Can Tell the Best Joke." The man thinks, "I'm a funny guy, I've got this," so he walks up to the bartender and says, "I'm ready to tell the best joke." The bartender says, "Go ahead." The man clears his throat and says, "Why did the tomato turn red?" The bartender looks at him and says, "I don't know, why?" The man says, "Because it saw the salad dressing!"

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few minutes, another man walks in and says, "Hey, do you want to hear a construction joke?" The first man groans and says, "I'm not in the mood for jokes right now." The second man says, "Okay, I'll tell you later when you're in the mood." The first man says, "Okay, I'll let you know." The second man says, "Okay, I'll be over there at the bar, working on that new joke."

A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says "Free Drinks for the Person Who Can Tell the Most Interesting Fact." The man thinks, "I'm smart, I know a lot of interesting facts," so he walks up to the bartender and says, "I'm ready to tell the most interesting fact." The bartender says, "Go ahead." The man says, "Did you know that the human nose can detect more than 1 trillion different scents?" The bartender looks at him and says, "That's interesting, but I'm going to