ِAnima: part one
I open my travel suitcase and place inside my clothes and belongings that only moments ago were settled in this open, empty closet behind me, surrounded on both sides by other closets that look similar outwardly but differ in essence.
And here I am, having finished arranging the first suitcase, leaving it aside to bring its twin.
After finishing the other, I went to prepare myself as well, ready for departure…
Yes, today is the day I leave the university dorm after spending another year there.
And today was also my last exam, the end of my third year in the Faculty of Media. I can hardly believe there is only one year left until my university life ends.
I feel a little… that I will miss it.
Knock. Knock. Knock!
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of knocking on the bathroom door, so I turned off the water above me to check who it was.
It must be one of my roommates.
“Lian… it’s your mother calling. Should I answer or not?”
Rose’s voice came from outside, and hearing her words reminded me for a moment that tomorrow I will finally be back in my warm home with my mother, father, and little brother.
I missed my mother so much. She must want to check on me after today’s exam, since I was very anxious about it.
I must hurry, or she will worry even more.
“It’s fine, Rose. Leave it, I’m coming now. I’m done.”
I quickly dried my hair and dressed, then looked at myself in the mirror in front of me.
…..
I let out a hopeless sigh at the sight of the dark circles around my eyes.
They had worsened because I didn’t sleep last night, and the exam… calling it “bad” would be a compliment. It was terrible!
No matter, my dark circles will only get worse now, since my trip home will take maybe 12 hours.
Hello again, insomnia of transportation.
I smiled sarcastically, gave myself one last look, then turned to walk quickly down the corridor to answer my dear mother, whose calls never stop.
She must be very worried. I’ll try to reassure her and tell her I had a good exam… though I suspect I’ll start crying the moment I hear her voice.
After entering my room, I threw the towel on my bed and quickly grabbed my phone, ringing with that tone that always stirs so many emotions in me — because it belongs to my mother.
I walked with my phone through the corridor, surrounded by everyone’s noise.
I don’t like anyone listening to my calls. This way I avoid many useless judgments.
Then nervously, I pressed the answer button, only to hear my mother scolding me for being late and not answering sooner.
But I didn’t catch her words clearly… instead, I felt black shadows pulling me back into what I had been running from since the morning.
I… didn’t do well in today’s exam.
I remember… seeing the questions, then time passing as I squeezed my brain trying to find any links to answer them, my pen falling from my hand several times because they were trembling with anxiety.
Yes… I’m worried I didn’t answer correctly. But what’s more worrying is… this very anxiety!
Every passing moment reminded me of those nightmares that took the shape of reality three years ago, during the high school final exams.
My hand holding the pencil responded to my frayed nerves, scratching the answer sheet.
Then my other hand, holding the eraser, rushed to fix the mistake of the first, erasing so quickly that the paper beneath nearly tore.
And in the middle of all this, my mind watched…
It’s not the first time. I know what comes next…
I’ll get more nervous, then change all the answers I doubt, and then…
